In the late 19th century, the French novelist Gustave Flaubert compiled Le Dictionnaire des idées reçues (The Dictionary of Received Ideas), an encyclopedia of all that was believed right and proper among the intelligentsia and cognoscenti. It was intended to serve as a sure-footed guide to the minefields of cocktail party conversation. Our present-day social media feeding frenzy demands such a guidebook more than at any other time, and with an eye toward that goal, our correspondent offers a soupçon of today’s idées reçues.
The excellent tech writer David Auerbach has compiled a New Dictionary Of Received Ideas!
DICTIONARY OF RECEIVED IDEAS (2018 edition)
abortion: safe, legal, and unavailable; question of its legality of utmost importance
abuse: speech
activism: contains homeopathic dose of politics
Afghanistan War: forgotten regional skirmish circa 2001; rumored by some to be ongoing
ally: of convenience
alt-right: makes Republicans look good in comparison
balance: exists by virtue of all issues possessing exactly two equal, opposing sides
base: (a) immovable; (b) irrelevant; (c) devoid of higher thought
Black Lives Matter: mattered to white people 2015-16
Brexit: too much democracy
capitalism: the ail for what cures you; thunder against
clickbait: see op-ed
conservative: no viable heroes since Reagan
cultural Marxism: (a) neither; (b) Protocols of the Elders of Zion
culture war: all-access politics
Deep State: born in 2016
democracy: going out of fashion in a hurry
Democrat: (a) savior; (b) doesn’t like Trump
deplorables: rarely invoked; best ignored
diversity: reduplication of established norms
Donald Trump: unhinged pariah supported by half of America’s politicians
electoral college: not enough democracy
elite: privileged group you don’t belong to
fake news: (a) propaganda; (b) news
false equivalence: non-manicheistic analysis (see: balance)
FBI: our only hope
feminist: bad feminist
fiscal conservative: lemon socialist
freedom: that which impinges on others’
Freedom Caucus: strutting roosters
gender: not biological except when it is
George Soros: greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing conservatives he existed
global warming: too slow to care about
government: fantastic until Trump was elected
gun control: (a) fantasy; (b) nightmare
hashtivism: contest of numbers
Hillary Clinton: the Emma Goldman of our time
human biodiversity: genetic idealism
identity politics: marketing strategies
incel: internet celebrity
income inequality: only a priority for cis white men
intersectionality: “swordfish”
Iraq War: forgotten regional skirmish circa 2003
Islam: (a) the Great Satan; (b) chiefly persecuted by the Great Satan
Islamophobia: overly concerned with others’ fashion choices
liberal: no viable heroes
libertarian: in favor of strengthening government to prevent government
lived experience: irrefutable; epistemologically bulletproof
machine learning: pedagogy as judged by standardized tests
meritocracy: not to be preferred to nepotism and cronyism
MeToo: don’t be left out
microaggression: worse than a macroaggression
MGTOW: mostly going to ogle women
MRA: (a) maudlin revanchist altercations; (b) misandry reification asset
millennial: (a) it’s all their fault; (b) nothing’s their fault
misandry: always justified; never intended seriously
misogyny: pervasive; structural; unfixable
Mitch McConnell: hated by all, currently runs America
moderate: press favorite
Nazi: (a) German political party which peaked in the 30s; (b) punching bag tulpa
NSA: invention of Edward Snowden
neoliberal: never existed
op-ed: see clickbait
opioid crisis: problem of how to keep drug company profits up
patriotism: marketing strategies
populism: always unpopular
preferred pronoun: always “me,” never “you”
prejudice: everyone possesses it; must be eradicated
privilege: prerequisite for discussing privilege
problematic: tending to expose oneself to criticism
progressive: Calvinist Whig
Puerto Rico: foreign country
punching down: satire by people you don’t know
punching up: satire by your friends
racist: (a) thinks whites a superior people; (b) fails implicit bias test
rape culture: must-see tv
reactionary: person on social media
reason: archaic elitist tool
red pill: makes you larger, makes you small
Republican: only thinks what Donald Trump says
resistance: tweeting, mostly
revolution: will fix everything
Russia: skilled at manipulating fools
safe space: where you will only be attacked by people like you
self-care: masturbation
Silicon Valley: somehow responsible for all this
SJW: such jejune whinging
snowflake: melts on the tip of your tongue
socialism: capitalism 2.0
social justice: enacted through television, movies, op-eds, and tweets
social media: fidget spinner
Supreme Court: you must vote because of it
tankie: real socialism has been tried, it just hasn’t failed
TERF: doesn’t know what TERF stands for
terrorist: bogeyman, usually incompetent
truscum: TERF
tucute: TERF
Twitter: digital Colosseum, bread and circuses
Vladimir Putin: kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being Donald Trump has ever known in his life
witch hunt: necessary tool for culling the increasing surfeit of witches
working class: white racists
